I looked out the window of Sam's car, the cracks in the faux leather seat dug into my skin. I fidgeted, feeling Sam's eyes on me- I knew she was worrying, I knew that she wanted to know what had happend, and I also knew she would wait for me to be ready to tell her what was going on. I looked out the window, trying to hide from everything for just a little longer.
If only I truly understood what was happening myself. No matter what I did, nothing in my life seemed to go according to plan. I had never wanted my life. I wanted something far more.... Just more than what I had. That sounds selfish and ungrateful, I know. But it's the truth.
I rolled down the window and let the breeze blow in through the car. Eva Cassidy sang through the static on the radio.

In the early morning rain with a dollar in my hand

And an aching in my heart

And my pockets full of sand

I'm a long way from home

And I miss my loved ones so

In the early morning rain...

With no place to go

"What am I doing here, Sami?" I finally broke the silence. Sam looked at me askance for a moment before she furrowed her brow to puzzle over my question.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean... Here as in on planet earth? Or... What do you mean?" Sam asked, as she flicked her eyes from the road towards me for a moment.

I sighed, sinking further into my battered seat, feeling the stuffing agains my skin in places. I looked out the window as I said, "Its just so hard getting up every morning and living a life that doesn't have a destination. I'm not going anywhere. No matter how hard I try. I get up. I go to a job that doesn't make me happy, and then I come home and chill with you. I go to bed. I'm tired of not having a purpose. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not doing anything with my life."

"Oh, honey." She took a deep breath and let it out in a woosh. I watched the lines on the side of the road blur as they passed me by until, finally I could see the sign for Whiton in the distance. I closed my eyes and tried to remember to breath.